We all must have been in a relationship whether long or short. But each one of us cannot deny that we have never been in a relationship. Apparently, we kept on thinking that how we all shall be happy in a relationship. We at times tend to be in our dreams or filmy Duniya – as we call it and try to match those love elements in real life. But there is a factor which you guys might miss on – is the essence of relationships and we ponder on why my relationship with my partner is not smooth or not moving in the right direction.
I am going to share some important tips and tricks for a happy relationship. You can call them life hacks as well and if you follow them, as per my belief, I can vouch that you end up being a happy couple. Let’s get to this blog:
Trust your partner
We should always trust our partners. I have seen a lot of men and women who keep a check on their respective partner’s mobiles or emails or etc. why guys?? If you trust them, what is the reason to do that? Trust me, if they want to hide something they will anyways do that. Most importantly having faith in each other is the recipe of a true relationship.
Keep your egos aside
– Assume that there is a situation of hot discussion between you and your partner, what will you do? many times it ends up in cats and dogs fight – you know why because we clash our ego and cannot make it clam while it is needed the most. Will you try to make it up, you may find the answer is NO or sarcastic. The thought process is, if it’s not my mistake why should I say sorry, this is what we hear from a lot of couples.
Guys when one person is angry other have to be calm, this is the mantra of a happy and successful relationship. Trust me you won’t be small if you somehow calm your partner. In the long run, you and your partner will come closer to each other. This is being tried by a lot of people and the results are astonishing.
we tend to think that how can sex help in having a good and happy relationship. Ohh, then, guys you are mistaken. A lot of tests and research is done and its proven scientifically that if a couple has sex 2-3 times in a week they are happier, mentally, socially and physically. This is one of the crucial parts of a joyful relationship. Good sex not only releases stress but also bring us close to each other emotionally.
Spend quality time
– With this fast moving life, we forget the importance of being with each other in both good and bad times. More we spend time with our partner better our relationship will be. Go for a walk with him/her may be for 15-20 min but that time shall be totally yours. Or go on a dinner date with each other keeping your mobile phones aside. try to fetch out your time – talking about all things which both of you like. These things look kiddish but when you do it, you start feeling close to your partner. More you do it, closer you are.
Give Importance to each other’s work– This is another common problem that we see among couples. Especially, in the Indian context where men don’t give priority to his better half’s work or maybe females at the workplace. Giving equal importance to each other’s work will bring harmony and consent in a relationship. No Work is big or small and everyone’s work is important. If we understand this, the chances of having quarrel and fights will be minimal
Share home chores – Helping is caring – when we can teach our kids this, why can’t we do the same. Always help your partner in whatever he or she is doing. Be there in the home chores equally with them. The idea is to be with him or her. be there with her in the kitchen, assist her in kitchen stuff. it is not necessary that you should know about cooking. If he is washing his car she can help in that. These small things bring you closer. Similarly, she can be a help to him in his house stuff.
Give Space– Always give some space to the person whom you are associated with. People say why you need privacy. I say that everyone needs it to be men or women. Giving privacy is not that they are cheating on you. There are times where they want to be with themselves without worrying about other things. it is like rejuvenating oneself. They may be alone or with their friends or somewhere else where they may be just on their own. Trust me this is one of the important things which we tend to forget.
These are some of the hacks that if you follow, it will not only increase the trust and love in your relationship but you will start enjoying each other’s company more, making your relationship to sustain for a long time.
Have we ever realized the difference between love and a companionship?
Almost everyone would agree that when you get married your life gives you a direction gradually to nurture your relationship into a companionship which we always looked for in your lives. I don’t want to discard anybody’s feeling, this is all personal experience of love and companionship. It can vary from person to person as we all have a different set of expectations from each other – especially the people who say “we don’t except anything for anyone” too have some beautiful expectations to owe from the person they love.
For a couple of years the girl (Jyotsana) lived a content married life and while she was happy in her own world, gradually she realized, there is something missing into her relationship with her husband. Although she was happy spending time with her husband, giving ample importance and relevance to the in-laws and of course etc. etc. etc.
She got married to a person whom she loved, but later she felt lacunae in the relationship where she was missing a friend, a companion to her, which initially she thought she would get but with due course of time she couldn’t. She thought that being in kind of Love she was, it is like having a companion of life with all the emotional support that one needs.
She was wrong, she was completely wrong:
An instance: where she would ask her husband to go out for a dinner and sit for while chatting nothing special about anything which every long term relationship would need i.e. to be together. He would go, but it would be a proper dinner-dinner date and come back home. When asked to talk and share your day with me, I will do the same – he used to deny saying I’m tired, had a lot of work today. Quite annoying at times. She started feeling alone and depressed as she was missing the good times, the madness, the craziness, the connection that a companion offers. She has always been a friendly & romantic person and in return, if she is expecting the same – she isn’t wrong.
She kept on trying and asking him what’s the reason why you are ignoring, share with me if any problem but he will be just quiet and do not give her the expected or a satisfactory answer. Although Manas (the husband) was an introvert person by nature and a bit authoritative, which she knew though still she was puzzled by the behaviour, the ignorance and the emotional warmth missing in the relationship. Moreover, she also knew that he is not cheating on her, neither she is! She keeps on thinking why with passing time romantic relationships becomes like that, and the charm, the warmth, the passionate love for each gets lost somewhere.
“As rightly said by Bertrand Russell Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.”
While she was experiencing a gap of true friendship and a bestie in her marriage, the suffocation and threat of losing her identity took her to a point where she started finding it outside or in someone who’s close to her (it is natural indeed).
Guess what happened, she met an old friend of hers, randomly in the market. She was happy to see him as he was the bestie to her for ages. But after marriage, she was all concentrated to her husband and busy in her married life. It was like a breeze meeting him; they sat at a coffee shop and chatted for hours. Wow, she was feeling relieved just by chatting and talking to her bestie after long. This feeling was amazing – gradually the touch and the sense of togetherness triggered her life and she started spending time and talking to him at a comfort level which she desires. Her husband used to ask her on her absence at home in the evenings sometimes, (he knew her friend), she was fair with him – on all this Manas was okay about it and wasn’t at all curious though. Alas, he couldn’t understand what he is missing in his life, which she was, but now she found her true companion in her bestie.
This simple and cute story shows us that we all have a split between our passion, love, sex and companionship in our romantic relationships. But having said this, your ideal companion can be someone else too not necessarily your husband only. Love and companionship is an emotional bond that doesn’t fade with your ageing skin, but it can be found anywhere in anyone.
There is a piece in me that like to tenderly imagine my maverick and seditious soul. But, precisely, I love to have a picky and cosy relationship with my soul that can rub up against a little bit, putting me alive.