Love and Companionship – Can we get both?

Have we ever realized the difference between love and a companionship?

Almost everyone would agree that when you get married your life gives you a direction gradually to nurture your relationship into a companionship which we always looked for in your lives. I don’t want to discard anybody’s feeling, this is all personal experience of love and companionship. It can vary from person to person as we all have a different set of expectations from each other – especially the people who say “we don’t except anything for anyone” too have some beautiful expectations to owe from the person they love.

For a couple of years the girl (Jyotsana) lived a content married life and while she was happy in her own world, gradually she realized, there is something missing into her relationship with her husband. Although she was happy spending time with her husband, giving ample importance and relevance to the in-laws and of course etc. etc. etc.

She got married to a person whom she loved, but later she felt lacunae in the relationship where she was missing a friend, a companion to her, which initially she thought she would get but with due course of time she couldn’t. She thought that being in kind of Love she was, it is like having a companion of life with all the emotional support that one needs.

She was wrong, she was completely wrong:

An instance: where she would ask her husband to go out for a dinner and sit for while chatting nothing special about anything which every long term relationship would need i.e. to be together. He would go, but it would be a proper dinner-dinner date and come back home. When asked to talk and share your day with me, I will do the same – he used to deny saying I’m tired, had a lot of work today. Quite annoying at times. She started feeling alone and depressed as she was missing the good times, the madness, the craziness, the connection that a companion offers. She has always been a friendly & romantic person and in return, if she is expecting the same – she isn’t wrong.

She kept on trying and asking him what’s the reason why you are ignoring, share with me if any problem but he will be just quiet and do not give her the expected or a satisfactory answer. Although Manas (the husband) was an introvert person by nature and a bit authoritative, which she knew though still she was puzzled by the behaviour, the ignorance and the emotional warmth missing in the relationship. Moreover, she also knew that he is not cheating on her, neither she is! She keeps on thinking why with passing time romantic relationships becomes like that, and the charm, the warmth, the passionate love for each gets lost somewhere.

“As rightly said by Bertrand Russell Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.”

While she was experiencing a gap of true friendship and a bestie in her marriage, the suffocation and threat of losing her identity took her to a point where she started finding it outside or in someone who’s close to her (it is natural indeed).

Guess what happened, she met an old friend of hers, randomly in the market. She was happy to see him as he was the bestie to her for ages. But after marriage, she was all concentrated to her husband and busy in her married life. It was like a breeze meeting him; they sat at a coffee shop and chatted for hours. Wow, she was feeling relieved just by chatting and talking to her bestie after long. This feeling was amazing – gradually the touch and the sense of togetherness triggered her life and she started spending time and talking to him at a comfort level which she desires. Her husband used to ask her on her absence at home in the evenings sometimes, (he knew her friend), she was fair with him – on all this Manas was okay about it and wasn’t at all curious though. Alas, he couldn’t understand what he is missing in his life, which she was, but now she found her true companion in her bestie.

This simple and cute story shows us that we all have a split between our passion, love, sex and companionship in our romantic relationships. But having said this, your ideal companion can be someone else too not necessarily your husband only. Love and companionship is an emotional bond that doesn’t fade with your ageing skin, but it can be found anywhere in anyone.

She has found hers! Have you found yours?

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